I’m doing it again. That thing that I always do when something is coming to an end. That weird headspace I get into where I am simultaneously lethargic and antsy and no matter how many good things happen I’m still in a funk.
It happened at the end of college, when (for a variety of reasons) I got super depressed and lost an unhealthy amount of weight from not eating enough.
This time I’m still eating, but I can’t summon energy to do anything and I just keep telling myself “only three more weeks…only two more weeks…”
Which is NOT the way I want to spend my last time in Korea, a place that I have loved way more than I ever expected.
Suddenly getting sick this week has definitely not helped either. (Seriously, who gets a cold in July??) But I just can’t bring myself to do anything unless they’re plans that I’ve already made. I can’t snap out of it, and I know people around me are getting annoyed.
This headspace is partially a good thing, though, because I’ve left behind the part of me that was getting emotional about leaving. I will still be sad, of course, I will still miss Korea, of course, and I will still be looking for ways to come back. But this antsy feeling has taken over and I’m getting more and more excited to get moving, to get going to DC and start school and move into an apartment where I can stay for more than a year. I started packing a little this week, and it was less depressing than I expected.
This weekend will be good if I can get over my cold long enough to enjoy it. Next week is my last week teaching. Reaching the end.